Tim and I have been trying to have a baby for a while now, and as most of you know are on our second round of fertility drugs. These trials and tribulations are enough to make couples re-evaluate everything in their lives; finances, medical history, lifestyle changes, etc. It's not easy.
We're on our second round of Clomid, also known as Clomiphene. This drug is to help enduce ovulation and has mild side effects - for me imparticular are hot flashes...now I know what to expect during menopause. I had one round of emotional crying, another side effect, but the hot flashes are the biggest. I will be sitting anywhere, work, home, hairdressers, and all of a sudden I get the whoosh of heat. Small beads of sweat on my forehead and that overwhelming feeling of being hot. Almost like an anxiety attack. It can be 68 degrees F in the house and I can be roasting, while everyone else is chilled.
The other fun bit is peeing on a stick to have sex on demand. The whole ovulation stick is such a hassle. $28 for one box of 7 sticks. And due to not ovulating on a regular schedule I usually go through 10-12 sticks, hence 2 boxes x $28. Then you have to have sex on the day you ovulate and the day after to try and become pregnant. Of course, when you're traveling like I am this week (San Diego and Dallas) and its your ovulation week, it makes a bit more difficult.
Now we wait to see 16 days after ovulation whether or not we're pregnant. If we didn't "Hit it" as the doctor says this month, we'll do one more round of Clomid. If it doesn't work with that, on month 4 we move on to not only Clomid, but adding FSH shots as well. Now our costs for infertility treatments with NEC are about 50% (which is great), but the FSH drugs add another $500 to our already running bill. Plus doctor's office visits are $95 (again, since its not a 'regular' doctor visit, I have to pay half.) If this doesn't work we move on to surgery, laparoscopy to see what's going on and potentially IVF. IVF however in the U.S. runs about $20,000 or so. I did just find out that you can have IVF done in Australia for about $4900 - - a lot more economical - - even with travel expense, it would still be half of the US price.
The thought we have to have though is $20,000 for IVF with no guarantee of having a baby or $20,000 to adopt. NEC will offset the adoption costs with $5000, and there is a $10,000 tax credit to adopt - but in the US domestic adoptions are all "Open" adoptions allowing the birth parent visibility and visitation. Tim, who is adopted himself, is not that keen on the idea of the birth parent being involved. International adoptions, which I would then prefer the Ukraine or Russia requires more money, 6 weeks in those countries, an older child and not an infant, and no guarantee on their medical status.
The frustration I am feeling, and I think Tim is feeling is fairly overwhelming. At what point do you just say this isn't going to happen? At what point do you make the decision to continue with the medical treatments or entertain adoption. I keep going back and forth on both. How is it that when you want to have a child its as hard as hell, but most 13 year olds get pregnant at a sneeze. *Sigh*
Well, lets hope that I am getting a bit ahead of myself and that we have luck this month. Keep your fingers crossed. Until the end of the month...this is adieu!
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