2 Years of Fertility Treatments

So here we are almost 2 years to the day from our first attempt with fertility treatments. It's hard to fathom that we're still trying. I'm almost 39 now and its just downhill from here with treatments. Our choices now are continue with IUI or to try IVF. IVF for us however, for one attempt, would cost approximately $16,500 and no guarantees. I don't understand how people can afford to keep doing multiple tries at this. I want a baby, obviously since we've been going through this for so long, but the expenses are difficult at best.

But as we watch the news over the past two weeks, there has been a woman who has just had octuplets in southern California - at Kaiser. She has had 14 children now all together with fertility treatments - which to those who have not yet started fertility treatments is probably going to give women false hope that they too can have a child or multiple children, when in fact they just may not. They too may go through years of injections, ultrasounds, blood tests, and disappoint as I and many, many others have.

Our option - adopt a baby, at $40,000 USD or try through India, etc, but its not as cheap as its made out to be once you add in airfare, hotel and food expenses. I just do not think in this economy, that we're even going to be able to manage this. At best, my job is in a precarious state.

The IT industry is crashing all around us and NEC has announced last week that it will be laying off 20,000 people by March 2010. Supposedly most of it is with different NEC businesses than mine, however everyone seems to know that something is going to happen and its making morale go down even more than ever. Its harder not knowing and speculating if I'm going to be laid off or not. If I am laid off, then our medical insurance goes along with it, not to mention our house, our beautiful, beautiful house.

I am so stressed I am sure I'm causing my self an ulcer - most definitely I have heartburn almost every night now since Friday's announcement. However, if I'm laid off, there's not much I can do other than find a new job somewhere, likely San Francisco if I have to.

Pray that I keep my job and that all goes well.