Surgery and hormones

Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - Timothy's 43rd birthday.

We had the DNC done on the 24th. I had to be in admitting by 630am, upstairs in outpatient surgery room right after. By 7:15am I was in the very busy pre-op staging area, with about 20 other people. They got my IV started, a million questions and Tim was able to come in at that point. We signed all our documents, the Dr Klooster came in at 730am and by 740am everything was signed and I was in the OR. Thank God for Versed - its a conscious sedation that worked well. I felt almost nothing, except towards the end, I did feel a pinching, which hurt. I remember the Dr saying that it was the speculum closing that I was feeling - and he said it was all done and the sample would be sent to the lab. I remember crying and the nurse actually wiping my tears and saying she understood that it was really emotional. I vaguely remember getting back onto the gurney myself, but I don't remember actually going back into my post-op space. I opened my eyes, Tim was standing next to, it was 755am. I also remember putting my right arm up so they could reattach the blood pressure cuff and then talking to the nurses.

They asked me to sit up after my third bp- and to go ahead and get dressed. They had brought me some ice chips because my throat was so dry. As I got up and got dressed, all of a sudden - woosh I felt the need to vomit. Fortunately nothing came up, was more just like a huge dry heave. Within 10 minutes, the male nurse was walking me out the door in a wheel chair and Tim had gone to get the Trailblazer. I was now 825am. Talk about fast. I vaguely remember getting home, and then we took a nap for like 3 hours.

I finally starting feeling better on Monday. Thursday and Friday I couldn't even wear normal clothes I was so tender and swollen. Monday I finally could get on a pair of jeans and feel ok. It has been just over a week and now my hormones are out of control. My face looks like its a sixteen year old's with a ton of pimples and I'm crying at all movies - - this is loads of fun. NOT!

How do you make sense out of it?

Imagine our elation when we found ourselves pregnant again, but only told a handful of people, for fear of that dreaded not past the first trimester risk. We were optimistic when two weeks ago our ultrasound showed the gestational sac. Last week, we saw the fetus, fetal pole and yolk sac, but no heartbeat - but doctor said to come back again this week because a week makes a huge difference. Today we went back and there has been no growth and no heart beat. We have lost a second pregnancy. Now I can wait to see if my body takes care of it naturally or have an out-patient surgical procedure to remove it and have it tested for chromosomal abnormalities. We're going for the later - since its been two in a row, we would like to know what's going on. So now I am waiting for the surgical scheduler to call - - so I know when this will take place.

The doctor said not to give up hope. The good news is, we can get pregnant - we just need to figure out why we can't carry the baby to term. I've told him I think I want to wait until after the holiday season to try again - give ourselves a break. He thought that was a good idea just told us not to wait too long. Said we could still try on our own with out the fertility drugs until we're ready to come back. Statistically - women get pregnant again within six months of a miscarriage and carry to term. I'm proof, because it only took two months for me. So we wait and see.

Our other options are to use a surrogate with our egg and sperm, but we're talking just as much as having IVF ourselves at $20,000 up front in cash - no payments. The other, is adoption, which can cost between $10k to $30k depending on the agency we use. I was just looking at a facilitators page and they charge $12,500 just to help match you with a birth parent.

All I can say is I'm frustrated, as is Tim. I don't know if I can go through this again - - maybe when I have a better outlook, I don't know.

Clomid, Round 2

I know its been a while since I've updated this, but we were trying to get passed having had a miscarriage and waiting for my period to start again. We were able to get pregnant in May, but unfortunately on the 4th of the July I suffered a miscarriage and spent the afternoon at the emergency room hoping that we were not miscarrying just having some spot bleeding, but that was not the case. My period started again on August 16th so I went back to the fertility clinic, had an ultrasound where they said everything looks good - though I think they might have noticed another fibroid as she 'marked' something off while having the ultrasound. We've decided that we'll give Clomid another chance for a few months since we were able to get pregnant with clomid the first time. If it doesn't happen in the next two months or so, we're going to give ourselves a break during the holiday season and try again after the first of the year and move on to taking the shots to increase our fertility chances. Until I have more news....

We used to do artificial insemination on the Farm

Meet Gene, my brother-in-law who grew up on a farm in Minnesota....the land of snow and cows.

The other night we were all at dinner talking about the fertility treatments and I mentioned that our next step would be to do artificial insemination if we're not pregnant this month. Gene says, oh yeah, we used to do that all the time with the cows back home on the farm....(hmm, me - cow - same procedure???) He says, "We used to get that long turkey baster like syringe and just shove it up there to give them a fighting chance of getting pregnant." He's telling us all how they clean the bull semen prior to the procedure, etc and I'm like, oh this is great! Now I'm having the same procedure as a cow. :(

All I can say is HOT Flashes....

Two more days of Clomid yet to do, and already the hot flashes have started up again....

No bambino this month...

Well, we're not pregnant again this month, but am not surprised since we ovulated while I was traveling and tried to squeeze in some time when we could. So...we now try timed sex again this month and see how that goes. If this doesn't work, we move on to artificial insemination with a treatment called IUI.

Here's the description from the American Pregnancy organization: How does IUI work?
The IUI procedure is simple and may be performed even if the woman is not receiving medication to improve her egg production. Many physicians will encourage women to take medications to stimulate the ovaries in order to increase egg production and, hopefully, the chance of achieving pregnancy.

An ultrasound will be used to monitor the size of the follicles (follicles develop into eggs). The hormone, human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG), is administered to stimulate the release of eggs from the follicles within 34-40 hours.

A semen sample will be processed by the lab in order to separate the semen from the seminal fluid. A catheter is used to inject the processed sperm directly into the uterus. This process maximizes the number of sperm cells that are placed in the uterus and thus increases the possibility of conception. The IUI procedure is short and involves minimal discomfort. The next step is to watch for signs and symptoms of pregnancy.

Wednesday we had to both sign consent forms for artificial insemination as California law requires signatures for both spouses and blood tests for Tim as the husband including; HIV, Hepatitis, Syphilis because semination insertion is considered to be tissue transfer. On June 22nd we will be attending an insemination class, which includes an injection course so that we will know how to mix the FSH drugs and where and how to inject them either into my derrier or my arms.

So Tim signed his Yim Boyle (yes YIM - that's what it looks like anyway) and I signed my own John Hancock and if we need, we're on our way to IUI. This is where the multiple births can happen as one of the risks. I'm kinda hoping for twins or triplets and get it done in one swoop! LOL.

Until later....

Our "Not" so-closeted Science Geek Friend...

Tina, who 'thinks' that she's a closeted science geek, not closeted, IS a science geek - has suggested that if we need to test ovulation again to try this product called: MaybeMOM.

MaybeMOM is a saliva-based test, which means spitting on this product instead of peeing on a stick....(isn't science wonderful *sigh*) This is MaybeMOM's claims:

"A woman’s body is much more sophisticated than any fertility or ovulation calculators used to estimate ovulation time. Fertility, pregnancy and ovulation calendars are not viewed by scientists as reliable methods for detecting fertile days. Please use only scientifically proven, effective means of tracking fertility and ovulation periods for the sake of preserving your health and saving your time. MaybeMOM, a mini-microscope used for saliva-activated ovulation detection, has the highest proven accuracy in determining fertility periods. It substitutes a variety of calendars and calculators, as well as some unsafe detection techniques and devices of questionable quality. "

She says it runs about $40, but since its slides, is more cost-effective for additional testing. We still don't know if we have to do more testing - but thought I'd share the information.

The Trials and Tribulations of Infertility

Tim and I have been trying to have a baby for a while now, and as most of you know are on our second round of fertility drugs. These trials and tribulations are enough to make couples re-evaluate everything in their lives; finances, medical history, lifestyle changes, etc. It's not easy.

We're on our second round of Clomid, also known as Clomiphene. This drug is to help enduce ovulation and has mild side effects - for me imparticular are hot flashes...now I know what to expect during menopause. I had one round of emotional crying, another side effect, but the hot flashes are the biggest. I will be sitting anywhere, work, home, hairdressers, and all of a sudden I get the whoosh of heat. Small beads of sweat on my forehead and that overwhelming feeling of being hot. Almost like an anxiety attack. It can be 68 degrees F in the house and I can be roasting, while everyone else is chilled.

The other fun bit is peeing on a stick to have sex on demand. The whole ovulation stick is such a hassle. $28 for one box of 7 sticks. And due to not ovulating on a regular schedule I usually go through 10-12 sticks, hence 2 boxes x $28. Then you have to have sex on the day you ovulate and the day after to try and become pregnant. Of course, when you're traveling like I am this week (San Diego and Dallas) and its your ovulation week, it makes a bit more difficult.

Now we wait to see 16 days after ovulation whether or not we're pregnant. If we didn't "Hit it" as the doctor says this month, we'll do one more round of Clomid. If it doesn't work with that, on month 4 we move on to not only Clomid, but adding FSH shots as well. Now our costs for infertility treatments with NEC are about 50% (which is great), but the FSH drugs add another $500 to our already running bill. Plus doctor's office visits are $95 (again, since its not a 'regular' doctor visit, I have to pay half.) If this doesn't work we move on to surgery, laparoscopy to see what's going on and potentially IVF. IVF however in the U.S. runs about $20,000 or so. I did just find out that you can have IVF done in Australia for about $4900 - - a lot more economical - - even with travel expense, it would still be half of the US price.

The thought we have to have though is $20,000 for IVF with no guarantee of having a baby or $20,000 to adopt. NEC will offset the adoption costs with $5000, and there is a $10,000 tax credit to adopt - but in the US domestic adoptions are all "Open" adoptions allowing the birth parent visibility and visitation. Tim, who is adopted himself, is not that keen on the idea of the birth parent being involved. International adoptions, which I would then prefer the Ukraine or Russia requires more money, 6 weeks in those countries, an older child and not an infant, and no guarantee on their medical status.

The frustration I am feeling, and I think Tim is feeling is fairly overwhelming. At what point do you just say this isn't going to happen? At what point do you make the decision to continue with the medical treatments or entertain adoption. I keep going back and forth on both. How is it that when you want to have a child its as hard as hell, but most 13 year olds get pregnant at a sneeze. *Sigh*

Well, lets hope that I am getting a bit ahead of myself and that we have luck this month. Keep your fingers crossed. Until the end of the month...this is adieu!